Cnajdek27@gmail.com
Hollywood Hills, CA-
It’s a sad day in the Marvel Universe as it’s creator, Stan Lee was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center where he passed away.
Many were questioning how a man of 95, and in horrific health over the last two years could
be taken from us so soon and drugs have reared their ugly head once again.
An unofficial report was given to Halfguarded by a dream I had last night indicating it was a drug overdose that killed the creator of Spider-Man.
Copious amounts of cocaine, ecstasy, methamphetamine and viagra were found in Lee’s system. It seems Lee was on a “Fuck it I’m 95 and rich” bender.
Lee was reportedly popping Viagra at an unheard of rate and fucking anyone or thing that he could grab a hold of. Semen was found all over his estate on everything including the kitchen staff, ottoman, coffee table, and lawnmower. “He was fucking everything, like literally, everything,” said an anonymous do gooder.
Lee would get high af, then run around fucking anything he could get his dick on or in. He managed to make it on to neighbors properties where he would continue fucking everything from security booths to domesticated wildlife. One witness even claims to have seen Lee fucking a stop sign while wearing a Thor costume (the really good kind, not that party city shit).
The most disturbing act of all came as Lee would masturbate into his own hand and throw the semen in peoples’ faces while singing “Rhythm Of The Night” by Lionel Richie.
Lee is survived by his daughter J.C. who somehow remained unfucked by Lee during his rampage.
Many feel this tarnishes a wonderful, wholesome legacy while others feel its wicked awesome. Lee’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was fucked by Lee too.
this is not funny. stan lee was a great man and you shouldn’t make fun of him like this. whoever wrote this is not funny at all.
Personally, I think this just adds to Stan’s legend.
Lee would get high af, then run around fucking anything he could get his dick on or in. He managed to make it on to neighbors properties where he would continue fucking everything from security booths to domesticated wildlife. One witness even claims to have seen Lee fucking a stop sign while wearing a Thor costume (the really good kind, not that party city shit).
Bravo.
Thank you sir.
You’re both a pair of Sallys.
Kiss me Coughlin