It’s that time of year again. It’s the time of year were pious mouth-breathing simpleton Christians pretend that there is a war on Xmas, all in an effort to feel justified for having a ridiculously false world view that denies science and attempts to move us in the wrong direction.
Christian pompousness is at an all time high, and it’s sickening. I’ve started seeing the literal signs everywhere… “Jesus is the reason for Christmas…” It’s in yards, churches, and even out front of supposedly secular buildings (Yay Red States!). Well fuck it. They want a war. Good. I’m willing to fight back, and us Atheists are quickly becoming the majority. You Xtians wanna stick your bullshit in my face, fine. You assholes fired the first shot, I’m simply responding…
Dear Xtians,
Thank you for marking your houses. You’ve made it very easy for us to target you for persecution, LOL… Oh wait… Atheists don’t give a shit about you or your signs. Those signs simply help us identify which doors to kick in when it’s time to take all your guns… You ninnies.
All Xtians have a narcissistic persecution complex. Atheists don’t persecute Xtians. We laugh at them for believing silly garbage. Try reading a science book. You may learn something… that you will then adamantly deny, just so you can have peace in your head that you are special. You are not. You are a walking animal, evolved from the CHLCA which is our last common ancestor shared by the extant Homo and Pan genera of Hominini, you witless fuck. We’re simply animals that know we’re alive. That’s it.
Evolution is real. So Xtian… You wasted your life. You wasted it spreading lies about a god who doesn’t exist, an afterlife that is impossible, and a Xhrist that will never return (if he ever set foot on Earth at all). If you actually know your scripture, which I’m sure you don’t, Jesus repeatedly said that he would return during the lives of the Apostles. Hmmm… Since he didn’t, that would make the Bible complete nonsense… Oh no wait; factually, it IS complete nonsense. Get a brain. You’ve denied science and evidence long enough, just to try and be right, but you’re emphatically wrong, and you’ve hurt the world tremendously. You’ve put yourself before all others. WWJD?
While you pompously and arrogantly smile your smug Xtian smile from your nice house, with your multiple cars, and good health, and plenty to eat, let me remind you of Matthew 19-21… Jesus said, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Have you done that? It sure doesn’t look like it. Hell, you wasted a shit load on those signs… By the way, he said ALL, not 10%.
When I see your sign, I don’t see a good Xtian family. I see a household that has more than most on this planet. I see full bellies with warm clothes, and a healthy bank account. That’s exactly the OPPOSITE of what your hero Jesus of the bible had. But what do I know. After all, I just read the fucking thing. I didn’t have an obscenely wealthy pedophile interpret it for me. Nonetheless, it seems that god and jebus are pretty clear that you shouldn’t have nice stuff and a lot of money. But hey, keep cherry picking from that book you didn’t read.
So this year, rather than piously pretending to give a shit about your fellow Earthlings, and sanctimoniously presenting yourself as an Xtian, try doing something for real. Prayer is just masturbating into a ceiling fan. Go do something, like volunteer, feed the homeless, or write a fat fucking check to a school district or hospital like this one https://greatnonprofits.org/org/east-tennessee-childrens-hospital. Then I’ll shut up. But you won’t. You’re a coward.
Christians need to be better with charity
Xtians don’t really want to help. I get it, helping sucks. It’s hard. It doesn’t pay anything, it takes up time, and nobody thanks you… You coward Xtians keep telling me how much good you do, but I don’t see it, ever. You just want people to believe you’re on the right team, doing good. You’re not. You’re on the misinformed team of retards that are attempting to crash the ship of humanity into the rocks. Please, just shut the fuck up.
Finally, your hero jebus would have most likely been labeled a Socialist, and certainly not a Republican. Electing a super rich asshole to the highest office in the land so that you can work to defund Planned Parenthood, remove our social safety nets, and keep rich whitey at the top, so that you can keep more of your money, is exactly the opposite of what Jesus would do… Bravo. If you pray to Republican Jesus, my guess is he just shows you a vision of a bootstrap. Socialist Jesus provided food for 5000 for free… that cock-sucking commie.
If you’re really an Xtian (and clearly you are not), and you really believe in Jesus, then go do his work. Or at the very least, stop pretending you care. At least most people who don’t give a shit admit it… Well guess what, I back my shit up. Come find me any night of the week down at the food pantry. I’ll be the one wearing the Atheist T-Shirt.
And if you won’t, then go ahead and eat a bullet. We don’t need you “helping.”
Merry Xmas from your friend,
Science
