Last Saturday, as we all saw, Jon Jones more or less walked through OSP with ease. It wasn’t a challenge for the best fighter on earth. Hell, the most newsworthy events were:
1. Jones flipping off Daniel Cormier, because he’s a man-child;
2. Greg Jackson saying that the powerlifting Jones has been doing was messing with his cardio.
Jones followed this all with a wonderful little back and forth with Daniel Cormier as the two begin to push their UFC 200 fight. Unlike most rivalries in the sport, it’s clear these two really just don’t like each other. That’ll lead to drama and interest. That sound you hear is Conor McGregor fading into the white noise of non-UFC 200 news.
Jones though, took it a step up, by claiming that fight week (and month) he dealt with some heavy stuff.
To start with, his mother had to have a leg amputated because of her battle with diabetes. Diabetes if a tricky one, as adult-onset diabetes if usually associated with simply eating poorly and being fat and so people aren’t always sympathetic but it’s still a leg. And as a son, you don’t care. Your mom had her LEG CUT OFF! That had to suck. Sympathy points to Jones (a little – it is Jon Jones afterall, ya know). Then he drops this sentence:
“In my last fight, I had a lot of stuff stacked up against me,” Jones said Wednesday at a UFC 200 press conference in New York. “A lot of you guys don’t really realize what’s been going on in my personal life. My mom is in a real bad position. She’s really losing a fight to diabetes right now. She got her leg cut off the same week of my fight, so that really messed with me a lot.
“I was in jail the same month of my fight. Just going through a lot of stuff, man. I hadn’t fought in over 15 months, and everybody is talking about my performance being so bad. I got punched twice. I won by unanimous decision. So if that’s a bad performance with the level that people expect from me, it’s really not a bad problem to have. I went out there and I didn’t feel comfortable in the Octagon and I still absolutely dominated that fight.”
You delusional nutjob. For fuck’s sake, you were in jail because you acted like a jackass – it didn’t happen by accident. You weren’t a victim of racial profiling, or taking part in a BLM protest when the cops decided to come down on you. What you did was minor, in the grand scheme of things, but let’s not pretend you haven’t been doing stupid shit, oh, I dunno, throughout your entire 20s.
But, such is the world of Jon Jones, where his mom getting her leg cut off is the same as him spending a night in jail – not prison, where you get raped but jail – is the same thing.
“After the fight, I sat there in the Octagon and I was so critical of my performance. Then I went home and watched it and I realized, really, the guy punched twice in 25 minutes. That was it. He never landed anything. He never hurt me. Two punches in 25 minutes and I’m sitting here… I have such a high expectation of myself, I’m beating myself over a fight where I clearly dominated the fight. So, I feel really good about the fight.
“Some fights, you want to be really, really impressive and you really want to do these awesome moves for the fans. But that fight was a smart fight. I fought really smart. Really smart. And now I’m here today with no injuries getting ready to turn around and fight for you guys at UFC 200, so that was a win in every way.
“There’s different levels to being a high-level fighter. Sometimes it’s the mature move. The fans were booing in the arena wanting to see a knockout, but I did the mature move. I fought real smooth, especially with 15 months off. I got punched only twice. So I think that was an extraordinary performance when I look back on it, and you guys will see a real can of whoop-ass when I do what I was planning on doing against DC.”
Basically, “I thought I didn’t do good. Then I watched myself and was impressed.” You can practically hear him jerking off under the desk to all this.
I hope he never changes. The most entertaining and least self-aware human being of all time. The build to UFC 200 is going to be so much fun.
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