FUKUSHIMA DISASTER DISRUPTS JAPANESE WAY OF LIFE
Recent radiation levels at the site of Japan’s Fukushima nuclear reactor have already begun to have a dramatic effect in the contaminated area. Fish found in nearby oceans and streams contain radiation levels that make them inedible for humans.
Japanese dog food producer “Cyber Dog,” located 50 km from the Fukushima prefecture, has stopped using locally harvested fish innards as a staple ingredient in their premium puppy chow line for fear of harming the animals.
Local fishermen have begun to catch fish with feathers (dubbed the Japanese Plumed Catfish) a new species to marine biologists. Researchers expect more mutated species to appear on land and in the sea. Once this occurs nature will begin to be affected as the new species begin to crossbreed with and rape established domestic life.
Fukushima farmer Genki Nobuhiko reported to local authorities his newborn “calf with a horse sized dong. It’s not racist if a Japanese man says dong.” All pictures of Mr. Nobuhiko’s cow’s cock have been blurred out in black ink but distinctly show the shape of a massively enlarged genital unit. This raises questions related to outdated Japanese pornography laws and the effects nuclear radiation will have on future generations.
Even widely popular “Tentacle Erotica” genre of Japanese anime, film, and magazine pornography has begun to adjust to the recent shifts in marine life. New octopodes with horns and “human-like fingers” have been appearing in newly produced xxx rated materials.
Sexual deviant and avid pornographer Yoshi Tanahashi said, “We try to keep our material as real and accurate as possible while still obeying archaic censorship laws. Keeping up with the hentai population here isn’t easy. Kids these days want to partake in a true tentacle experience. After the Fukoshima disaster, that includes tentacles with phalanges and swordfish-like attachments protruding out of the cephalopods head.”
Debate in Japanese congress on whether the new fingers and horns should be blurred out is a hot-button topic. A vote is expected by the end of the week.
With the stalemate ongoing in congress, the not yet deemed sexual organs mutations are currently unblurred which has led to a 750% spike in sales of Tenticle erotica.
Fukushima farmer Genki Nobuhiko reported to local authorities his newborn livestock, a “bull calf with a horse sized member.” While the video of the bull’s actual penis has been blurred out, it still shows the mammoth unit ejaculating onto a heifer’s face. This raises questions related to outdated Japanese pornography laws and the effects nuclear radiation will have on future generations. Will eels safely fit into a young woman’s anus anymore? Only time will tell.
