Sin City, Nevada, The Desert of Despair
There once was a boy named Michael. His parents loved him very much and only wanted the best for his future.
Michael, though, was a bad kid. He did fine in school, sure, and failed with women, so he avoided having a child, but Michael had a secret addiction: cage fighting. He couldn’t get enough of it. Two men, sometimes two women (and one day, in Japan, a man vs a woman), in a cage or ring – he wasn’t picky – hitting each other, slamming each other, choking each other; it was exhilarating.
It. Made. Him. Hard.
And so he watched relentlessly. Every day, for hours on end, he watched. He fought. He trained. He breathed it in. He sucked dick in the Walgreens parking lot, the one next to the BP station in Logan Square, just to get a little money to feed the best. And feed it he did. Gorge it he did. And now that beast is large – too large. He no longer has control of it. And the beast needs to eat. It needs to eat … violence.
Well, that violence occurs tomorrow. Today, the men and women of UFC 209 all get naked and hug and parade around for our entertainment as they weigh in. And this post is the UFC 209 Weigh In Results and Video post.
Just a little longer until feeding time…
UFC 209 Weigh In Results and Video Stream
- Champ Tyron Woodley (170) vs. Stephen Thompson (169) – for welterweight title
- Tony Ferguson (154.5) vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov* – for interim lightweight title
- Rashad Evans (185) vs. Daniel Kelly (186)
- David Teymur (156) vs. Lando Vannata (156)
- Mark Hunt (265) vs. Alistair Overeem (256)
PRELIMINARY CARD (FS1, 8 p.m. ET)
- Luis Henrique (248.5) vs. Marcin Tybura (251.5)
- Mirsad Bektic (145) vs. Darren Elkins (145.5)
- Iuri Alcantara () vs. Luke Sanders (135)
- Mark Godbeer (241.5) vs. Daniel Spitz (240)
PRELIMINARY CARD (UFC Fight Pass, 6:30 p.m. ET)
- Paul Craig (204) vs. Tyson Pedro (205)
- Cynthia Calvillo (115.5) vs. Amanda Cooper (116)
- Albert Morales (135.5) vs. Andre Soukhamthath (136)
* Khabib is said to be sick, at the hospital, and not weighing in. PRAISE BE TO …