WCW Nitro Episode 44 – The Outsiders get inside your head
Click here to read part 1
P.S. I’m not making any of this up. Everything really happened as transcribed below…
NITRO 44 – “The Outsiders get Inside your head!!!”
EB to the writing team…
Ok boys, lets do a better job of not being so racist this week… Segment one, Harlem Heat is led to the ring by two rich old white people to take on two cowboys… Jesus fucking christ… and you’re fired.
Michael Hayes: Who me?
EB: Yes, you Michael Hayes… Alright, do we have the old handicapped people in the front row this week?
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan: No. Even better. Kids with leg braces.
EB: That’s hot. And you get a raise… Next… who the fuck cleared the name “Mike Enos”? And who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to team Mike fucking Enos with DICK slater! Should we just call them “Team Penis?” Where’s Hayes. Hayes, get back in here!
Michael Hayes: Yes boss?
EB: You’re fired again.
Tony Schiavone: How much is Ric Flair’s VIP table costing us?
EB: Tony’s right. We could be spending more on fireworks! And don’t forget to give Kevin Greene two interview segments tonight… Segment two, Madusa destroys some poor slant-eyed gook. Don’t worry, it was a contest to see who has a flatter ass… Hour two. Big fireworks opening, cut to commercial, bump out with Arn being insane, and we’re back! Ignore that bullshit match in the ring… The Brain and Me are wearing matching red Mickey Mouse shirts!
And lets cut to the Outsiders, who should easily have had enough time to cover up the WCW lettering with the spray painted sheets… FUCK they’re only on the second letter! Jesus that looks stupid. We’re being taken over by the nW? Christ, go to the Meng match… But first, FIREWORKS!
Somebody make sure the Outsiders are drinking. We want them to be cool heels, and drinking is cool.
Tony Schiavone: Eric, doesn’t Scott Hall have a pretty big drinking problem?
EB: Good question, I’ll look into it… now queue the drinks!
So apparently at Disney Studios in 96 they had a “bring your own cooler” policy. Remember how great pre 9/11 America was?… And I guess they also had a 95% “only hideous trolls in the front row” policy – Peach
EB: Segment five. Stinker match for the death slot, Benoit vs. Guerrero. Brain, just talk about the nWo. Don’t bother to discuss these vanilla midgets.
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan: I just don’t buy Benoit as a real bad ass. He doesn’t even shave his forearms.
EB: I agree. Let’s de-push him… And let’s hit that Glacier promo for 85th time. I love all those ice puns… Big Bubba comes to the ring for our 3rd consecutive dead wrestler…
“WCW isn’t going anywhere. I don’t care what anyone says. Not the Outsiders, not Hogan… we’re not gonna die at their hands… it will be my hands… Well, mine and a retard from New York.” – Eric Bischoff to the Wall Street Times
EB: Segment 6 we’ve got a hot match, BIG BUBBA vs. The TOTAL PACKAGE Lex Luger! Bubba comes down to a chorus of boos and Luger gets a thunderous pop!
Then some more stupid shit happens and I don’t really remember because I was looking at my twitter: @PeachmMachine
Click HERE to read Part 1.