Ronda Rousey, a multiple time loser who will probably be considered overrated by history even though that’s not entirely fair but oh well, is engaged to Travis Browne. She also wants a baby from Browne, badly.
Travis Browne is a UFC heavyweight who was once accused of abusing his ex-wife. He also fights, but his last few performances tell me he isn’t good at hitting grown men. We can add children to the list of things he’s also not good at fighting.
Rousey was on Live w/ Kelly & Ryan, a daytime TV show I didn’t know existed, when she recounted a tale of her house being robbed. TMZ grabbed some quotes of the deal. I don’t think they deserve credit, since all they did was transcribe a TV program, but I’m feeling extra honest.
Apparently, some time ago, they were out and about when some kids just flat out broke into their house and stole practically everything. If my memory serves me well, and it often doesn’t, this was actually right around the time they got engaged. Maybe even right before. MOZEL TOV!
[The crooks] stole my Olympic rings…
Does she mean medals? Did they give her a giant set of rings? Medals makes more sense than rings. I feel like you can replace a set of rings easier than your medals.
stole my guns
I’m so relieved to hear you two not at all crazy people have guns.
stole my guns, stole all my precious jewelry, every headphone in the house, credit cards.
EVERY HEADPHONE? Those bastards! How expensive are your headphones when you list them in between your jewelry and credit cards? Are they diamond encrusted Beats by Dre?
After looking at security camera footage, she added:
We saw that they were a bunch of kids with skateboards … And there’s a famous skate park right across the street cause we’re in Venice.
You were robbed by someone from the 1980s.
So my man’s 6’7” like 260. He like beelines it straight to the skateboard park, finds the guys right away.
“my man.” Jeezuz. She’s so fucking weird. HER MAN! Someone has daddy issues out the ass. I also like that they saw a kid with a skateboard and then he booked it across the street. What are the odds that actually works?
He’s smart enough not to [hit them]. We’ll get sued pretty hard, but he found the police right then and they caught them.
Fuck me, it DID work.
Kids are dumb as fucking dirt. Dirt that dropped out in 6th grade and pursued a career in music because it was really into GnR. Now, that dirt is 25 and hooked on meth and low hanging high school pussy.
Also, happy to know that only the threat of a lawsuit deterred the beating, not the idea that he’s a six and a half foot tall, walking lumbering heavyweight mountain who is trained to do nothing but beat up human beings, and thus it would be pretty fucking awkward if he beat the shit out of some kids. And wrong.
Though if he did, I imagine it would look something like this: