The UFC has officially announced that the UFC 191 main-event will be Mighty Mouse vs John Dodson. UFC 191 comes to you all live and on PPV. It will be in Las Vegas. Which is in Nevada. Which is in the United States of America. The UFC is hoping for one million PPV buys for the show. I’m hoping for a pony made of gold. Rematching Mighty Mouse and Dodson (which wasn’t terrible or anything) is no bueno. My gold pony is more likely than 1 million PPV buys.
Paige VanZant and Anthony Johnson will also be on the card.
Like, I know you’ve gotta use guys as main-eventers sometimes and the only way to make anyone care is to keep telling them to care. And Mighty Mouse IS fucking amazing as all fuck out. Never hurt. Fights a lot. Owns tons of good fighters. The most active champion there is. Still, you build up (for like an hour, but still) news and MIGHTY MOUSE VS JOHN DODSON IS WHAT YOU GIVE ME? That is the UFC 191 main-event.
Whoop. De. Doo.
VanZant will be on the card though so creepy old journalists can leer at someone they secretly pretend is 16.
Johnson is on the card because … I dunno. He’s a dude. He needs to fight. That’s his job, sheesh.