Firstly before I start being “bizarre & surreal”, which a description given to my Day 2 coverage, I’d like to thank everyone for all the great feedback I’ve gotten over the last few days. This is my first time writing for a website and I was a little nervous about it, but everyone has been overwhelmingly positive. If you do like my reports please share them on social media. I’ve been promised I’ll get paid when we start turning a profit and I’ve got my eye on a new Jaguar. Anyway back to the report, which is a fun report as always so check it out!
Now to Day 3: AKA
THE BATTLE OF MY BOYS
Today at Kyoto City Budokan Center Tetsuya Naito will square off against Katsuyori Shibata in a battle for my love. So far we’ve had two woefully underwhelming shows so my hope is that this battle for the ages will finally ignite the spark for this year’s tournament. If not, at least I’m not covering the next 2 shows. My excitement for this match is through the roof however, especially after their interaction in yesterday’s 6 man tag, where Shibata gave Naito the biggest big boot of all time off the apron. In my opinion this should be the main event but obviously New Japan have gone for Tanahashi vs the perennially shit-haired bastard Tenzan. Whilst I skip almost all Tenzan matches based on his face I’m told he had some good matches at last year’s G1, but he’s a year older now and not moving as well, putting him in the spot could be a risk that:
A: He’ll be shite
B: He’ll break his body because he has something to prove by being in the main
Ideally we’ll get B. If he gives me a great match and then has to bow out of the G1 that’ll be fantastic, because honestly I get sad looking at him. They should give his spot to Shelton Benjamin as there’s a shocking lack of black lads in this year’s tournament, brother.
G1 Climax Ray 3 results for G1 Climax 25
Kojima & Liger & Tiger Mask & Komatsu vs. Elgin & Dorada & David Finlay & White
Kojima pinned Finlay following a lariat
Ishii & Yoshi-Hashi vs. Takahashi & Hall
Yoshi-Hashi CRUSHED Cody Hall with a swanton for the win
Goto & Captain New Japan vs. Anderson & Tonga
Anderson with the Gun Stun on Captain NJ
Nagata & Honma & Taguchi vs. Nakamura & Okada & Gedo
Honma hit the diving kokeshi on Gedo to get the victory for his side
A Block: Ibushi vs. Gallows
Time to see if Ibushi can drag something of worth out of the yard dog that is Doc Gallows. Gallows threw Ibushi to the floor in an ugly spot early. I can’t not read his shirt as saying #BizClitz. The lumbering fuck takes control with mean guy offense for the heat. Kota cut him off with a Pele kick and hit a beautiful moonsault to the outside. A splendid bridging German from Kota, but then Gallows with a jackhammer for a two count. The crowd have been much better today. Ibushi gets the pin with a victory roll off a Gallows powerbomb attempt. Ok for what it was.
A Block: Fale vs. Makabe
Why did I waste the expression Lumbering Fuck on the last match when I knew Fale was wrestling next? If you follow me on twitter, which you shouldn’t, it’s of no worth to you, you’ll know I fucking love a good Big Guy – Men Hitting Men match. So I’m actually quite hyped for this. Fale with the dull as fuck heat for pure ages until Makabe Hulk’d up, and by that I mean he stopped selling, not that he allegedly racially abused The Rock mid-match. He could have though, I don’t speak Japanese. But I doubt it. Fale with a big splash but Makabe hits back with a lariat. Fale then speared Makabe all the way to Shortland Street and gets the win after a Bad Luck Fall. A plodding affair.
Rating: 2 Crude Dudes
A Block: Styles vs. Yano
Fuck sake, it’s just occurred to me that I’m going to have to watch a Doc Gallows vs Yano match at some point. Just noticed that Yano’s tights look like the pattern on a bamboo calendar at your local Chinese. Some cheating and chairshots from the albino shithouse to get the match started. AJ dragging a good match out of the inhuman monstrosity. Styles working the legs, I assume to keep the high-flying Yano grounded. This is annoying because it’s turned into a good match. Styles hit a suplex into the exposed turnbuckles for a nearfall and the crowd chanting for Yano. A really close nearfall for Yano off a powerbomb. Some good back and forth action until Styles taps out Yano with the calf slicer. Much better than expected.
Rating: Begrudging respect
A Block: Naito vs. Shibata
Naito’s walking to the ring outfit is the hypest shit. The bell rings with Naito still in his entrance gear so Shibata takes advantage. He hits a giant big boot knocking Naito to the outside and then another sending him over the guard rail. Crowd strongly booing Naito when he’s on offense. Naito finally takes off his shirt and trousers in the sexiest move of the evening. A lot of fast paced action highlighted with Shibata trying to murder Naito in the corner with first forearms and then face-washes. Can these two feud forever please? Shibata dodges a corner dropkick and hits a double stomp followed by his hanging corner dropkick. Naito decides he’s going to stand in the centre and slap Shibata which proves to be his downfall. Shibata slaps the piss out of him, puts him in the sleeper and then hits the PK for the win. Great match but like Shibata’s first outing it should have been longer.
Rating: 10 more minutes please
A Block: Tanahashi vs. Tenzan
If this was an RoH crowd we’d surely have had a “Fuck Your Haircut” chant by now. Although Tanahashi’s hair is so luxuriant and beautiful it makes up for Tenzan’s. Hard hitting in the early going with Tanahashi heeling it up a little and hitting European uppercuts from the outside to Tenzan prone on the apron. I imagine Tanahashi loves it when he gets to work a crowd that’s against him, he looks like he’s having fun out here. A long dragon sleeper spot from Tanahashi and Tenzan is looking a bit tired. Still had enough in him for a wheel kick though. I miss Edge’s spinning wheel kicks. Tenzan gets the knees up on a High Fly Flow and the crowd willing him on. He hits the ropes so weirdly. Tenzan holds in an anaconda vise for long enough for me to eat two pieces of toast and then turns it into a side slam when Tanahashi tries to fight out. A two count for Tanahashi from a sling-blade followed immediately with the High Fly Flow for the win. Fun match.
Rating: 4 displays of post-match respect
NEW JAPAN STUFF TO BUY WHICH WE MIGHT HAVE ALREADY DONE OURSELVES