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January TV Line-Up: Show Recommendations

Peach by Peach
January 29, 2016
in The Other Half
0
15 Moments in Television to watch before you die

And then beatings for the local black guy

Most shows suck a gunny sack of dicks. These do not… @ParkingCone @ChairmanofGuam

 

Perhaps you’re like me, a wise person that despises sports, or perhaps you’re like the rest of the fucking overpopulated world and like boring things like basketball and football. If you fall into the first category, you’re a great person (congrats on being like me), but it’s at this time of the year you find yourself wanting to strangle every stupid motherfucker who would rather watch a bunch of tall clowns chase an orange orb, or fat dummies move an oblong brown flying sack, and you find yourself with nothing to watch. Well worry no longer. The mid season has a tremendous line up, so sit back and let me tell you what you should watch, because Monday nights don’t have to be about massive men pummeling each other pointlessly, unless you’re watching Monday Night Raw which is my first rock solid pick.

 

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WWE presents RAW, USA, Monday, 8pm: This fucking awesome show should be a staple in every house. It’s fake, it’s ridiculous, it’s pro wrestling, and when the #SocialOutcasts are on, it’s spectacular. 4 and 3/4 stars

#SocialOutcasts
#SocialOutcasts

 

Brookly Nine-Nine, FOX, Tuesday, 8pm: Another good show. Andy Samberg and Terry Cruz lead the way in this ridiculous cop comedy about the 99th precinct in NYC. It’s a well written sitcom. Light hearted and fast paced, this show is worth DVR’ing, if only for Chelsea Peretti’s character “Gina,” a self-absorbed quick witted manipulative beeahtch. 4 perky tits

One babelicious bad girl
Babelicious bad cop

 

 

Two Broke Girls, CBS, Wednesday, 8pm: If you like LOST and Seinfeld and Cheers and MASH and Murder She Wrote, you’ll fucking jizz in your drawers watching Two Broke Girls. These bitches kick other bitches in the cunt and just dont give a fuck! Watch this shit! 44 tampons up your fucking cooze

We do a lot of blow to stay this skinny
We do a lot of blow to stay this skinny, hence, we’re broke.

 

The 100, CW, Thursday, 9pm: This show is really well written and produced. It’s like Grey’s Anatomy had sex with Nicholas Cage and after cleaning his blood with his home dialysis machine, he crapped out a puppy who grew up to be another amazing television show! 115 meth addicts shooting up

I'll watch anything with a number
I’ll watch anything with a number.

 

Cavemen, the Internet, during work: This show is as original and hilarious as the commercials that made the Aflac duck extinct! It’s so fucking brilliant. You’ll laugh out loud at the whacky antics these cavemen get into trying to exist in modern times. “What’s this noisy talk box? Why can’t we club women and rape them?” Oh goodness, cavemen, you’re so whacky! 61 cavemen penises up

We're just simple cavemen
We’re just simple cavemen trying to make a living in… 2008

 

The Presidential State of the Union Address: This practical jokester loves to come on every once in a while and do his own stand-up comedy routine. I’d compare him to a more down to earth version of Jim Gaffigan. His witty antics and colloquialisms are intelligently prepared, and well delivered, in a timely fashion. The comedic writing for this show is as good as a whole team of Seth McFarlands. I nearly piss myself with joy when this show comes on. 240 amendments up

Did you get clearance from Hill-dog?
Did you get clearance from Hill-dog?

 

9/11 Terrorist Attack Footage, Youtube, Whenever you need a laugh: Watch these whacky goofball pilots mistake a building for an airport runway as they try to land two jets on top of the World Trade Centers! You can bet those passengers were a little irritated with their travel agent! 3000 turbans up

Side of tower splitting funny
Side of tower splittingly funny

 

NOT watching TV, wherever, anytime: Or you could get your pathetic ass up and get a job, and maybe do some exercise, you fat fucking loser.

Follow me on tweetville @ParkingCone or @ChairmanofGuam or both.

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  • MMA News
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    • Luke Evans Upcoming Movies
      • Dracula Untold 2
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      • The Three Musketeers 2
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      • Lord of the Rings Streaming Series
      • No One Lives 2
      • High Rise 2
    • Adam Sandler Upcoming Movies
      • Grown Ups 3
      • Happy Gilmore 2
      • Billy Madison 2
      • The Do-Over 2
      • Sandy Wexler 2
    • Nicolas Cage Upcoming Movies
      • National Treasure 3
      • Ghost Rider 3
      • Con Air 2
      • The Croods 2
      • The Croods 3
      • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 2
      • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2
      • Drive Angry 2
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    • Kevin Hart Upcoming Movies
      • Central Intelligence 2
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      • The Secret Life of Pets 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 3
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      • I Am Number 4 Sequel
      • In Time 2 / About Time 2
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      • Hancock 2
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      • Wild Wild West 2
      • Bright Sequel
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    • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Movies
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