Mike Bloomberg Promises Stop & Frisk Of Only White People If Elected President In Open Letter Apology To Black People.

@chris_najdek
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New York, NY-

Former NYC Mayor and Presidential hopeful Mike Bloomberg has written an open letter apologizing to African Americans for his former support of the controversial stop and frisk program during his time as Mayor. The program was accused of targeting African Americans disproportionately to white people.

“Dear Black People,

I understand you’re mad at me, and I deserve it. I supported a very racist program when I was Mayor of NYC and I will make it up to you if I’m elected president.

If I become President of the United States I will implement stop and frisk for white people ONLY! That’s my pledge to you. Finally you will get to point and laugh as white people are racially profiled while simply walking down the street. You will get to see them thrown against walls, patted down, and strip searched in broad daylight while you point and laugh at their tiny genitals. It’s the least I can do for you.

Another travesty of my administration was my ban on large sugary sodas and I know that was not fair to you either. You guys enjoy a good 64 ounce grape or pineapple soda for $1.29 and I tried to take that away from you. I was not being sensitive to your needs. To make up for that, I will not tax any of the following staples of the black diet:

1. Now & Laters
2. Pork Grinds
3. BBQ Chips
4. Jolly Ranchers
5. Grape flavored anything
6. Black & Milds
7. Hot sauce
8. Newports
9. Newport 100’s
10. Marijuana

Once again I thank you for your support and I hope you accept my apology. My bad dawgs! Happy Black History Month!

Sincerely,
Magic Mike Bloomberg”