The Washington Nationals White House visit left many heartfelt memories. Starting pitcher Stephen Strasburg refused to shake Trump’s hand while closer Sean Doolittle refused to attend altogether, but perhaps the most memorable moment was catcher Kurt Suzuki donning a MAGA hat which prompted President Trump to reach around and squeeze Suzuki’s chest while dry humping him from behind.
The Suzuki moment was certainly the most memorable for Vice President Mike Pence who has been seen wearing his MAGA hat around the White House, and especially in Trump’s presence, far more often than before.
“It was such a great moment. I haven’t seen Donald that happy and passionate in a while. I couldn’t believe wearing that hat was all it took to get Donald to notice you.” Said Pence
“I figured I should cheer him up and wear the hat more often, especially with my back turned and in my underwear so he can get more skin to skin contact if he decides to embrace me. They say that’s important for human happiness. They recommend this for babies to bond with the mother so I think it’s a good way for Donald and I to bond.” Continued Pence
It’s heartwarming to see Pence care so much about Trump’s mental health during all of this silly impeachment stress. One person close to the situation said he’s even seen Mike patting his lap and telling The President to have a seat and tell him what’s bothering him. Trump has yet to take him up on that offer but Sen. Lyndsey Graham and Rep. Jim Jordan have…many, many times.