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Trump Joins Planet Fitness Gym; Vows “New Year, Same Amazing Me” For 2020 Resolution

Chris Najdek by Chris Najdek
January 2, 2020
in IT'S SATIRE, MORONS, The Other Half
0

@chris_najdek

Cnajdek27@gmail.com

Donald Trump is joining millions of Americans in adopting the most popular New Year’s resolution of getting in shape for the new year. Or in his case, even better shape.

He announced that he has joined Planet Fitness due to their promise of working out in a “judgement free zone”.

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President Trump has been criticized for his weight and eating habits ever since he got into office, however, this hasn’t hurt Trump’s confidence level one bit.

“Fake news reports I’m overweight, actually I’m in TREMENDOUS shape. I just joined Planet Fitness. Beautiful looking body when I’m NAKED. Melania loves it. Lots of muscle TONE! #RIPxxxTentacion”

Many countered the president’s tweet by asking why he joined a gym if he’s in such great shape. He responded.

“New year new me? That’s for losers and I’ve yet to lose. New year and same amazing me, it’s hard to get better than me but if anyone can get better than me, it’s me. I’m really quite a person!”

Others then asked if he’s so great why join a gym that doesn’t allow judgment. The President responded, when doesn’t he?

“Only God can judge me and even that is marginal at this point. I’ve done far better running the world than he has, he really can’t say much about me. When I’m lifting I don’t want people pointing, judging, saying things like “wow look at his perfect abs and anterior deltoid development. That’s why I joined Planet Fitness.”

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