Montreal, Canada, Not-America
This happened on like Thursday but I was in Vegas doing literally nothing but drinking and eat buffets – cause I’m a winner – so I’m writing a quick little piece here and now. Georges St. Pierre, who just beat Michael Bisping a month ago to win the UFC Middleweight Championship, is giving up said belt because his butthole hurts. Yeah, Matt and I talked about this on the latest episode of MMA & STUFF but now it’s official: GSP isn’t champion, Robert Whittaker is, and Luke Rockhold gets the next shot when the company goes to Australia next year.
Better chance Roy Moore admits to tonguing young buttholes than there is in the UFC realizing they’ve fucked their title situation up – the way Roy Moore fucks 14 year olds he meets in courthouses.
Dana White’s reaction was surprisingly level-headed:
I thought I would be (super pissed), but I’m not. I expected it. Listen, I had him sign a contract that said he would defend against Whittaker for a reason — because I knew he wouldn’t. At the end of the day, there’s a reason I put that stuff in the contract for him to sign. There’s a reason. And am I shocked? I don’t think anybody is shocked. He came out, he hand-picked Bisping and then went away again. So, whatever, it is what it is. You can’t ignore the fact White feels this was Georges plan from the get-go, as he reiterated St-Pierre’s desire to fight only Bisping over and over. He doesn’t want to fight anybody at welterweight. That’s why he fought Bisping. He didn’t want to fight (Tyron) Woodley, he didn’t want to fight (Stephen) ‘Wonderboy’ Thompson. He didn’t want to fight any of those guys. He wanted to fight Michael Bisping, and he did, and now he’s off again. So, listen, I’m not shocked, I’m not mad. It is what it is.
h/t MMA Fighting.
Let the record show that it was not Tito Ortiz or Conor McGregor or Fedor but rather it was Georges St. Pierre who finally broke Dana White.
The undisputed UFC middleweight championship will be on the line in Australia on Feb. 10 (Feb. 11 local time), when Robert Whittaker defends his crown for the first time against former titleholder Luke Rockhold in the main event of UFC 221.
UFC announced on Thursday that middleweight champion Georges St-Pierre is vacating his world title effective immediately.
St-Pierre informed the organization, “My fight at UFC 217 was one of the greatest nights of my life but I now need to take some time to focus on my health. Out of respect to the athletes and the sport, I don’t want to hold up the division. I will be giving up my belt and once I’m healthy I look forward to working with the UFC to determine what’s next in my career.”
With this announcement, interim champion Whitaker has been elevated to undisputed champion, and subject to approval from the Combat Sports Commission in Western Australia, the five-round bout will be the first event in Western Australia and held at Perth Arena.
Sydney’s Whittaker first arrived on the UFC scene when he won The Ultimate Fighter Smashes at welterweight in 2012. Whittaker went on to win three Octagon bouts at 170 pounds before making the move to middleweight in 2014, and he has been unstoppable since, winning seven fights in a row, with four knockouts and six post-fight bonuses. In July, he parlayed his wins over Derek Brunson and “Jacare” Souza into a fight with Yoel Romero for the interim middleweight title and he won the gold with a unanimous decision victory. Now he will make his first walk as champion at home against Rockhold.
One of the premier middleweights of this era, 33-year-old Luke Rockhold has held both the UFC and Strikeforce titles at 185 pounds, where he has defeated the best his division has to offer, including Chris Weidman, Michael Bisping, “Jacare” Souza, Tim Kennedy and Lyoto Machida. Fresh from a September stoppage of David Branch, the dynamic Californian looks to regain his crown when he travels Down Under to face Whittaker.
Tickets for UFC 221, which airs live on Pay-Per-View, go on sale on December 15.
“One of the greatest ever can’t fight because he’s shitting too much … make sure to buy tickets for our next show!”
I now understand the health issues that I had during my last training camp… I hoped my condition would improve after the fight but unfortunately it got worse and I had to go straight to the hospital for a colonoscopy when I came back from vacation last Wednesday. The diagnosis is ulcerative colitis and I am now taking medication that will hopefully appease the symptoms. My health is my #1 priority right now, I’m still a very happy man, thanks for your support!!!
All this results from St. Pierre battling colitus, a problem of the butthole. I’m not a doctor, despite playing one inside of vans I park outside high schools while offering free sports physicals, so I turn to Wikipedia to let me know more about this devastating disease:
Ulcerative colitis (UC) is a long-term condition that results in inflammation and ulcers of the colon and rectum. The primary symptom of active disease is abdominal pain and diarrhea mixed with blood. Weight loss, fever, and anemia may also occur. Often symptoms come on slowly and can range from mild to severe. Symptoms typically occur intermittently with periods of no symptoms between flares. Complications may include megacolon, inflammation of the eye, joints, or liver, and colon cancer.
Many hypotheses have been raised for environmental factors contributing to the pathogenesis of ulcerative colitis. They include the following:
* Diet: as the colon is exposed to many dietary substances which may encourage inflammation, dietary factors have been hypothesized to play a role in the pathogenesis of both ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease. Few studies have investigated such an association; one study showed no association of refined sugar on the prevalence of ulcerative colitis. High intake of unsaturated fat and vitamin B6 may enhance the risk of developing ulcerative colitis. Other identified dietary factors that may influence the development and/or relapse of the disease include meat protein and alcoholic beverages. Specifically, sulfur has been investigated as being involved in the etiology of ulcerative colitis, but this is controversial. Sulfur restricted diets have been investigated in patients with UC and animal models of the disease. The theory of sulfur as an etiological factor is related to the gut microbiota and mucosal sulfide detoxification in addition to the diet.
* Breastfeeding: Some reports of the protection of breastfeeding in the development of inflammatory bowel disease contradict each other. One Italian study showed a potential protective effect.
This all leads to St. Pierre being caught on film feeding from a tit, like veal that doesn’t know what awaits. Or a rape victim that does.