• MMA News
  • Entertainment
    • Luke Evans Upcoming Movies
      • Dracula Untold 2
      • Immortals 2
      • The Three Musketeers 2
      • Beauty and the Beast 2
      • Lord of the Rings Streaming Series
      • No One Lives 2
      • High Rise 2
    • Adam Sandler Upcoming Movies
      • Grown Ups 3
      • Happy Gilmore 2
      • Billy Madison 2
      • The Do-Over 2
      • Sandy Wexler 2
    • Nicolas Cage Upcoming Movies
      • National Treasure 3
      • Ghost Rider 3
      • Con Air 2
      • The Croods 2
      • The Croods 3
      • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 2
      • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2
      • Drive Angry 2
      • Season of the Witch 2
    • Kevin Hart Upcoming Movies
      • Central Intelligence 2
      • Night School 2
      • Get Hard 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 3
    • Alex Pettyfer Upcoming Movies
      • I Am Number 4 Sequel
      • In Time 2 / About Time 2
    • Will Smith Upcoming Movies
      • Hancock 2
      • I Am Legend 2
      • Suicide Squad 2
      • Wild Wild West 2
      • Bright Sequel
      • Independence Day 3
    • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Movies
      • Skyscraper 2
      • Moana 2
      • Rampage 2
      • Baywatch 2
      • Hurricane Heist 2
    • Upcoming Movies
      • Jack Reacher 3
      • Chappie 2
      • District 9 Sequel
      • Belko Experiment 2
      • Taken 4
      • Battleship 2
      • The Commuter 2
      • Ice Age 6
      • Looper 2
      • Sleepless 2
      • Horrible Bosses 3
      • Vampire Academy 2
      • Zombieland 2
      • Jumper 2
      • John Wick 4
      • Salt 2
      • Night at the Museum 4
      • Goonies 2
  • The Other Half
  • Podcasts
  • Store
    • Cart
    • Checkout
HalfGuarded
Advertisement
  • MMA News
  • Entertainment
    • Luke Evans Upcoming Movies
      • Dracula Untold 2
      • Immortals 2
      • The Three Musketeers 2
      • Beauty and the Beast 2
      • Lord of the Rings Streaming Series
      • No One Lives 2
      • High Rise 2
    • Adam Sandler Upcoming Movies
      • Grown Ups 3
      • Happy Gilmore 2
      • Billy Madison 2
      • The Do-Over 2
      • Sandy Wexler 2
    • Nicolas Cage Upcoming Movies
      • National Treasure 3
      • Ghost Rider 3
      • Con Air 2
      • The Croods 2
      • The Croods 3
      • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 2
      • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2
      • Drive Angry 2
      • Season of the Witch 2
    • Kevin Hart Upcoming Movies
      • Central Intelligence 2
      • Night School 2
      • Get Hard 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 3
    • Alex Pettyfer Upcoming Movies
      • I Am Number 4 Sequel
      • In Time 2 / About Time 2
    • Will Smith Upcoming Movies
      • Hancock 2
      • I Am Legend 2
      • Suicide Squad 2
      • Wild Wild West 2
      • Bright Sequel
      • Independence Day 3
    • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Movies
      • Skyscraper 2
      • Moana 2
      • Rampage 2
      • Baywatch 2
      • Hurricane Heist 2
    • Upcoming Movies
      • Jack Reacher 3
      • Chappie 2
      • District 9 Sequel
      • Belko Experiment 2
      • Taken 4
      • Battleship 2
      • The Commuter 2
      • Ice Age 6
      • Looper 2
      • Sleepless 2
      • Horrible Bosses 3
      • Vampire Academy 2
      • Zombieland 2
      • Jumper 2
      • John Wick 4
      • Salt 2
      • Night at the Museum 4
      • Goonies 2
  • The Other Half
  • Podcasts
  • Store
    • Cart
    • Checkout
No Result
View All Result
  • MMA News
  • Entertainment
    • Luke Evans Upcoming Movies
      • Dracula Untold 2
      • Immortals 2
      • The Three Musketeers 2
      • Beauty and the Beast 2
      • Lord of the Rings Streaming Series
      • No One Lives 2
      • High Rise 2
    • Adam Sandler Upcoming Movies
      • Grown Ups 3
      • Happy Gilmore 2
      • Billy Madison 2
      • The Do-Over 2
      • Sandy Wexler 2
    • Nicolas Cage Upcoming Movies
      • National Treasure 3
      • Ghost Rider 3
      • Con Air 2
      • The Croods 2
      • The Croods 3
      • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 2
      • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2
      • Drive Angry 2
      • Season of the Witch 2
    • Kevin Hart Upcoming Movies
      • Central Intelligence 2
      • Night School 2
      • Get Hard 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 3
    • Alex Pettyfer Upcoming Movies
      • I Am Number 4 Sequel
      • In Time 2 / About Time 2
    • Will Smith Upcoming Movies
      • Hancock 2
      • I Am Legend 2
      • Suicide Squad 2
      • Wild Wild West 2
      • Bright Sequel
      • Independence Day 3
    • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Movies
      • Skyscraper 2
      • Moana 2
      • Rampage 2
      • Baywatch 2
      • Hurricane Heist 2
    • Upcoming Movies
      • Jack Reacher 3
      • Chappie 2
      • District 9 Sequel
      • Belko Experiment 2
      • Taken 4
      • Battleship 2
      • The Commuter 2
      • Ice Age 6
      • Looper 2
      • Sleepless 2
      • Horrible Bosses 3
      • Vampire Academy 2
      • Zombieland 2
      • Jumper 2
      • John Wick 4
      • Salt 2
      • Night at the Museum 4
      • Goonies 2
  • The Other Half
  • Podcasts
  • Store
    • Cart
    • Checkout
HalfGuarded
No Result
View All Result
HalfGuarded
No Result
View All Result

Jussie Smollett Recounts The Time Joe Biden Touched Him Uncomfortably

Chris Najdek by Chris Najdek
April 4, 2019
in The Other Half
0
biden touches jussie

@chris_najdek

Cnajdek27@gmail.com

Chicago, IL-

In an exclusive interview with Halfguarded, Civil Rights Activist Jussie Smollett revealed how his friendship with the Obamas led to an unfortunate interaction with former Vice President Joe Biden. 

RelatedPosts

Catholics: You do NOT get a dispensation to eat meat on this St. Patrick's Day

Catholics: You Do Not Get a Dispensation to Eat Meat (to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day)

March 17, 2023
Stone Cold Steve Austin drinks beer

Happy 3:16 Day

March 16, 2023
A man prepares for battle all by himself

Unto the Ides of March

March 15, 2023
A piece of French Silk Pie from Bakers Square

Pi Day: French Silk from Bakers Square

March 14, 2023

“Thank you for sitting down with Halfguarded and talking to us. Please explain what happened between you and Joe Biden.”

“I was telling Barack about my ideas for health care reform, which later became Obamacare, because I’m the gay Harry Truman, and suddenly it happened.”

When pressed about what happened, Jussie waited 45 minutes, ate a sandwich, called his manager, started crying and then continued.

“While I was explaining to Barack how Rahm Emanuel was a terrible choice for his Chief Of Staff, Mr. Biden introduced himself and shook my hand while telling me how well moisturized my hands were.”

“Why would he tell you that?”

“Because they are. I’m the gay Tupac.”

“Ok since you mentioned that, what did you mean by that?”

“I’m a lot like Tupac, except gay and black.”

“Tupac was black.”

“…but not gay, I’m the gay Tupac, he wasn’t the gay Tupac, he was just Tupac, maybe the black Tupac, but I’m the gay Tupac.”

“Ok just finish the Biden stor…why are you crying?”

“Because they killed Tupac, and I’m the gay Tupac, they tried once, they’ll try again!”

“The Nigerians?”

“… so he shook my hand and again commented tha..”

“Who’s going to try again?”

“….While he was shaking my hand and telling me how well moisturized they are, he also commented that my grip was firm yet reassuring.”

“Why would he..”

“Because I’m the gay..”

“The gay Tupac! RIGHT! just continue for Christ’s sake.”

“After he shook my hand he told me how I reminded him of Tupac, except gay…”

“Fuck me.”

“As he was telling me how much he enjoyed my music, he got behind me and started rubbing my shoulders, he whispered something into my ear.”

“What did he say?”

“He said, “this is MAGA country” and continued massaging me.”

“MAGA wasn’t a thing back then! Why would he say that?”

“Because I’m the gay Tupac.”

“Jesus! Thank you for for your time.”

“It’s Jussus. I’m the gay Jes…”

“HOLY SH….let’s just drop it.”

“I’m exonerated.”

Related posts

  1. Comedy Suplex Podcart 81: 2019 Kickoff Cart!
  2. Jussie Smollett Has Charges Dropped, But Will Serve 6 Months In Imaginary Jail
  3. Comedy Suplex Podcart 82: WTF News, Bloody Tampon used as Weapon, AEW
  4. In Wake of Bert & Ernie Being Outed As Gay, The Count Opens Up About His Struggle With O.C.D. & Recounts First Encounter With The Couple
Previous Post

Comedy Suplex Podcart 101: ROH Exclusive Interview with Eli Isom

Next Post

Comedy Suplex Podcart 102: Suplex City Limits podcast host Jim Vicious

Related Posts

Catholics: You do NOT get a dispensation to eat meat on this St. Patrick's Day
The Other Half

Catholics: You Do Not Get a Dispensation to Eat Meat (to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day)

by Coughlin
March 17, 2023
0

Why GOOD Catholics MUST not eat meat to celebrate this St. Patrick's Day, regardless of whether they receive a dispensation...

Stone Cold Steve Austin drinks beer
The Other Half

Happy 3:16 Day

by Coughlin
March 16, 2023
0

That's the bottom line.

A man prepares for battle all by himself

Unto the Ides of March

March 15, 2023
Next Post
peach machine's comedy suplex podcart header, as designed by Mike whilst he smoked a fat blunt

Comedy Suplex Podcart 102: Suplex City Limits podcast host Jim Vicious

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Latest:

  • Catholics: You Do Not Get a Dispensation to Eat Meat (to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day)
  • Happy 3:16 Day
  • Unto the Ides of March
  • Pi Day: French Silk from Bakers Square
  • The Most Dangerous Type of Person: Stupid Thinks It’s Smart
  • I’m sorry, Black People
  • Bowling is America’s Pastime and I’m a Patriot.
  • Luke Evans Movies
  • Dracula Untold Sequel
  • Immortals Sequel
  • Beauty and the Beast Sequel
  • Rio 3
  • Grown Ups 3
  • Chappie Sequel
  • Horrible Bosses 3
  • The Three Musketeers Sequel

© 2023 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme.

No Result
View All Result
  • MMA News
  • Entertainment
    • Luke Evans Upcoming Movies
      • Dracula Untold 2
      • Immortals 2
      • The Three Musketeers 2
      • Beauty and the Beast 2
      • Lord of the Rings Streaming Series
      • No One Lives 2
      • High Rise 2
    • Adam Sandler Upcoming Movies
      • Grown Ups 3
      • Happy Gilmore 2
      • Billy Madison 2
      • The Do-Over 2
      • Sandy Wexler 2
    • Nicolas Cage Upcoming Movies
      • National Treasure 3
      • Ghost Rider 3
      • Con Air 2
      • The Croods 2
      • The Croods 3
      • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 2
      • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2
      • Drive Angry 2
      • Season of the Witch 2
    • Kevin Hart Upcoming Movies
      • Central Intelligence 2
      • Night School 2
      • Get Hard 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 2
      • The Secret Life of Pets 3
    • Alex Pettyfer Upcoming Movies
      • I Am Number 4 Sequel
      • In Time 2 / About Time 2
    • Will Smith Upcoming Movies
      • Hancock 2
      • I Am Legend 2
      • Suicide Squad 2
      • Wild Wild West 2
      • Bright Sequel
      • Independence Day 3
    • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Movies
      • Skyscraper 2
      • Moana 2
      • Rampage 2
      • Baywatch 2
      • Hurricane Heist 2
    • Upcoming Movies
      • Jack Reacher 3
      • Chappie 2
      • District 9 Sequel
      • Belko Experiment 2
      • Taken 4
      • Battleship 2
      • The Commuter 2
      • Ice Age 6
      • Looper 2
      • Sleepless 2
      • Horrible Bosses 3
      • Vampire Academy 2
      • Zombieland 2
      • Jumper 2
      • John Wick 4
      • Salt 2
      • Night at the Museum 4
      • Goonies 2
  • The Other Half
  • Podcasts
  • Store
    • Cart
    • Checkout

© 2023 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme.