Melania Trying To Catch Covid-19 So She Can Find Motivation To Actually F**k Him

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Washington D.C.-

Amidst all of the coronavirus news that’s come out of Washington lately, it seems First Lady Melania Trump is trying to make the best of the situation. Reports out of the White House say that Melania is trying to contract the virus so she finally has motivation to have sex with President Donald Trump.

Melania knows she’s in good enough shape to survive the virus, but odds are The Donald will not. Her hope is she will finally be the widow she always dreamed she’d be.

“I use to give him fuck sex time for money and citizenship, but now I have no reason and he always want fuck sex time with me. I don’t want! But, if I can give him virus that kills him I will give him many sex fuck times! I won’t even need to use, eh how you say…jiffy lube for his tiny pee pee.” Said Melania on a recorded private conversation with a friend.

Melania has been deliberately going to hospitals, kissing sick children, and asking people to sneeze in her mouth in hopes of finding a way out of this hell she has created for herself.

Here’s hoping that Melania can finally, and truly, be best!