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Apple PENCiL: Eat Your Own Fat Ass

Coughlin by Coughlin
November 20, 2019
in Evergreen, The Other Half
2

Apple Pencil. There’s a stupid combination of words that’s unironically real and has been for some time. It’s a stylus, which is a substitute for your finger, which means Apple is selling people their own fingers. I’d say that’s ballsy but I don’t want to give Apple any ideas.

Steve Jobs perfected selling people well-made versions of stuff already on the market and even he was against a stylus, with rumor being a fight over The Apple Pencil contributed to his death.

Apple having their own stylus is fine; it’s a tool valuable for people and clever dogs, both cash rich demographics. That they’ve branded it the APPLE PENCIL is whatever – I would’ve gone with PENCiL but I also steal rubber bands from office cubicles. But between this and the watch, Apple should concede they’ve run out of game-changing ideas to reinvent.

And that’s life I guess. Apple becomes a victim of its own success. People start expecting new cool things every year or two and that’s not feasible. Until they figure out a way to sell me a newer, better, can’t live without it TV, or the Apple Fleshlight, I’m not sure what else I’ll need from them.

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But I’m not buying my own fucking finger.

We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

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