Get An Ugly Girl to Marry You

This happens. A lot. I get a song stuck in my head and then share it here. “Get an ugly girl to marry you was first brought to my attention by my late dad. He thought it was hilarious. He’d play it on long car trips in front of my mom.

Dad was a dick.

Somehow it’s in my head and that’s means YOU get to listen too. I am a malevolent dictator.

Get An Ugly Girl to Marry You Lyrics

[Chorus:]
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

[Chorus]

A pretty woman makes her husband look small,
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her, then she starts,
To do the things that will break his heart.

But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life.
An ugly woman cooks meals all the time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.

[Chorus]

Don’t let your friends say you have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway.
Her face is ugly, her eyes don’t match.
Take it from me, she’s a better catch.

[Chorus]

Say, man?
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, and she’s sure is ugly. Ha!
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright.
Unfortunately, she has acne.
That’s a shame, baby.
Yeah, baby.

[Chorus x3]