The greatest movie of all time is The Edge. It stars Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin. This is not up for debate so shut up. It’s a story of man vs. nature, as three guys get stranded in the Alaskan wilderness and fight to survive and make their way back to civilization. They are stalked by a killer bear. It was written by David Mamet, who is a writing god.
I say this as way of giving context to The Revenant trailer that’s below. The Revenant stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy. The Revenant is directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu, who previously directed Birdman so he’s a hot property. He also co-wrote the screenplay. You know DiCaprio and Hardy. If you don’t, just go away because what’s the point of even reading this? They starred together in Inception which is also good.
The Revenant is an adapted screen-play from a novel by Michael Punke and is “inspired by” true events. That means “We took a lot of liberties to make this more exciting and entertaining but there’s a little bit of truth to it all.” Which is fine. As IMDB notes in its synopse:
“The frontiersman, Hugh Glass, who in the 1820s set out on a path of vengeance against those who left him for dead after a bear mauling.”
The movie studio hypes it as:
“Inspired by true events, THE REVENANT is an immersive and visceral cinematic experience capturing one man’s epic adventure of survival and the extraordinary power of the human spirit.”
I like bear maulings as a rule. I’m part bear myself (it’s how I self identify). I once sat through a three-hour documentary called Grizzly Man because there was a promise of footage showing a real-life bear mauling. Then the ass-hats did not show the mauling, instead saying it was “too graphic” for TV. Pussies.
The Edge also featured bear maulings. So: bear mauling; wilderness; survival; revenge. The Edge didn’t have an aspect of revenge to it (though it had betrayal). Nothing will ever top The Edge but this looks quite, quite good. DiCaprio has become an excellent actor since shedding his pretty boy skin, though he looks perpetually 12. Hardy is a sexy man, even if he denies his love of men. And they’re going to be playing the most manly men who ever lived.
Two pretty boys, getting dirty, looking the part, to survive, get revenge, and BEAR FUCKING MAULINGS. It’s like me, if I was pretty, could become tough, and finally fulfilled my fantasy of fighting a bear. (The fighting a bear fantasy isn’t me being cute either: it’s a legitimate life goal.)
The Revenant debuts in theaters January 9, 2016. This tells me it will actually debut in like four theaters before the New Year so it is Oscar eligible. I will find those theaters.
THE REVENANT TRAILER TIME