@MichaelCoughlin & @HalfGuarded
Remember how we brought you the WSOF 23 weigh in results? And told you that meant an actual show was coming (teehee)? THIS IS THE SHOW! Live results, in your face (coming in your face)(thank goodness my mother never reads this shit), as they happen. We also have some other stuff HERE, showing videos of the first cool fight that makes up the main-event. We’ll be here all night because when you don’t shave for a month and wear sweatpants in public you tend not to have a social life. Err, also, it’s my job. (It isn’t.)(Well, it is in this context but you know what I mean).
As always. QUICK & DIRTY RECAP AND RESULTS are below, after my rambling crap. And, hey, Bellator tomorrow for THE BIGGEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF THE PROMOTION. (Vomit)
WSOF 23 RECAP & RESULTS FOR PRELIM CARD… on this website! (7/6/5/4)
These may not be the best as I’m watching this, maybe the Bellator weigh-ins, and probably an episode of House if I get bored. Look Jeff Fletcher and Benny Madrid are going to have to make due if I don’t watch their fight (actually, I think that’s first, so I probably will watch it). So, if I watch a fight, I’ll comment on it. If I don’t, we’ll all live. We WILL be doing traditional round by round awesomeness for the main-card because it’s on an actual TV and I don’t have to use Apple AiRPLAY to stream it. Obviously, you can watch the prelims yourself HERE.
My oldest friend is getting married soon. She ordered a (second) wedding dress but didn’t want anyone to know so I told her to ship it to my house. It arrived today. Let me tell you, as a man who unsuccessfully married, spending your day worried if the dress will arrive and if it will rain before you get to it is nerve wracking. (Wrecking?) I did not want to be the guy responsible for that dress being ruined. I just got it though and avoided the rain so it’s all good. This is my way of saying I’m not watching the prelims yet – A WOMAN’S HONOR WAS AT STAKE!!
I’m watching Joey Miolla vs. Randy Steinke. One of them failed on a guillotine. The exact same position I TAPPED SOMEONE OUT IN today. Dude wasn’t happy. Anyways. This guy didn’t finish. Oh. And Chael is doing PBP not color. So far: he sucks. Oooooooh, the cage used to be a bad position. Yes. In 2002. Seriously, Chael is maybe better as color not lead.
LOL. Chael talking about “fans at home” not understanding leg kicks. This is broadcast on the Internet. On a Friday night. This isn’t even hardcore MMA fans. This is an audience of people confused by their redtube result.
Miolla, who Chael had been calling by a different name, landed a punch that hurt Steinke. But didn’t finish him. This is the 2nd round. There are more than TWO HOURS of prelims left before we get to the NBCSporrs portion. Oh, wow! Miolla KOd the dude. Chael said “no exaggeration” that it felt like a “mini earthquake ” Maybe A LITTLE exaggeration, right?
I’m gonna watch House if it’s on. It’s always on. It’s on like 50 channels. I found House. I can’t be bothered to watch WSOF until the main show. I say this to all three of you. But when I’m famous they’ll pour over this looking for subtext. “Why? The man became president. Won an Oscar. Voted most well endowed accidental amateur porn star three years running. Why then did he spend his nights watching fighting and old TV shows? Did that increase his girth?”
WSOF 23 RECAP & RESULTS FOR MAIN CARD on NBCSports (10/9/8/7)
- LaRue Burley vs. Brian Foster
Foster crushes him in seconds with a huge series of punches.
OFFICIAL RESULTS: Foster d. Burley
- Ben Fodor vs. Roberto Yong
Fodor overwhelms early and catches a kimura and leg scissor around the neck which may have been the actual tapping technique.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Fodor d. Yong
Fodor is the superhero. Really. He fights crime and shit. As a superhero. He’s like some bizarro Spider-Man.
- Tito Jones vs. Timur Valiev
So far, Valiev just wins on Jones. Pressing on the striking. Pressuring. Gets takedowns, Controls at will on the ground. Fifteen minutes. Repeate. You didn’t miss much.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Valiev d. Jones, dec
Chael just said not a lot of guys in the “Five Round Club” a term he just made up and which sounds stupid. Desperately trying to pretend like Branch winning and holding TWO TITLES AT ONCE is a historic event. Well, to be honest, it’s legit more impressive than TITO ORTIZ HEADLINGING MMA WRESTLEMANIA!
- Dave Branch vs. Teddy Holder for inaugural WSOF light heavyweight title
Round one starts off with Chael telling everyone that no one knows who Holder is so that makes this fight all the more impressive. Nothing better than seeing your championship fought for by a guy NO ONE KNOWS. Chael giving submission technique color is funny. Branch attacking the RNC. He gets it. Branch wins and is a two division champion. DO YOU FEEL THE HISTORY?!?!?!?!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Branch d. Holder, R1, Sub
- Justin Gaethje vs. Luis Palomino for WSOF lightweight title
The fight is brough to us commercial free by clothing of aliens. OK. A minue in and Gaethje takes a HUGE left hook to the head. A knee to the body as a follow up also drops the champ. Palomino comes in and is met by a a Justin uppercut. Justin with a big double leg slam. If you’re a D1 All American, that’s what you do. DOY! An attempted takedown by Justin saw him then land a short uppercut that dropped Luis. Wow. This is a complete repeat of fight one. I’m hard waiting for a death. Justin misses a flashy bullshit kick and Luis answers well in return. Luis missesa kick but it allows us to verify that Justin has testicles.
Luis is finding his timing right now. While he is circling, he’s also engaging first and hitting Justin. Just as that brilliance is written, Justin rocks Luis bad and threatens with a guillotine. The ability to take a punch is the difference so far: Justin eats them better. Regardless, this really is just an extension of the first awesome fight. Totes MaGotes makes up for the rest of the stuff I half-assed watched. Both are standing in a phonebooth (look it up, youngins) and letting hands go. So much fun and PALOMINO IS DOWN HARD!!!!!! IT’S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Justin Gaethje d. Luis Palomino, R2, TKO, retains WSOF lightweight title
QUICK & DIRTY WSOF 23 RECAP
Preliminary CARD 7 p.m. ET/6/5/4 (no idea if we’re watching this though who could resist seeing VAGAB VAGBOV)
- Brian Grinnell vs. Vagab Vagabov
- Krasimir Mladenov vs. Clifford Starks
- Kamuela Kirk vs. Estevan Payan
- Danny Davis Jr. vs. Matthew Frincu
- David Nuzzo vs. Andres Ponce
- Joey Miolla vs. Randy Steinke
- Jeff Fletcher vs. Benny Madrid
WSOF 23 RECAP OF MAIN CARD on NBCSports, 10 p.m. ET/9/8/7
- Brian Foster d. LaRue Burley
- Ben Fodor d. Roberto Yong
- Timur Valiev d. Tito Jones
- Dave Branch d. Teddy Holderfor inaugural WSOF light heavyweight title
- Justin Gaethje d. Luis Palomino for WSOF lightweight title