I heard the Bellator-Glory DYNAMITE! show, which airs on Spike tomorrow night, being referred to as Bellator’s “Wrestlemania.” If so: enjoy becoming WCW.
Bellator has to do what it has to do. It is a distant #2 and so that means taking chances, building fights around past their prime but still a name guys. I get that. I’m find with that. It enables the company to present high level fights between good but unknown guys and so I’m happy. Plus: I get bored without MMA every five days.
But don’t tell me that a show headlined by TITO FUCKING ORTIZ is important. Don’t tell me that just because you have some kickboxing matches featuring guys no one has heard of (it’s irrelevant if they’re actually good) makes this grand. And for fuck’s sake, stop doing fucking tournaments.
TOURNAMENTS. ARE. STUPID.
Especially the tournaments. I’m all for tournaments over multiple shows, that’s fine. That’s a bracket. That’s every major sport on earth. But this one-night shit? It’s insane. It was a novelty back in the day, and worked because it was basically one or two guys who could fight and 14 morons. But in this day and age, where world class athletes from every discipline are competing? Fucking stupid.
There isn’t even the drama of a real tournament. It’s two fights, which sucks but isn’t nearly as difficult as three or four (besides the obvious of two being less than three). The rules make it so they aren’t even full fights (first fight is only two rounds). Usually an alternate ends up filling in. None of the fights are ever that great anyways because guys are fighting conservatively so they’re as fresh as possible.
Shit, even the year long tournaments barely work. Remember when Scott Coker and Strikeforce tried their HW Grand Prix? And like half the guys quit or got injured and an alternate won the whole thing? I don’t care if it was Daniel Cormier, that thing had less than zero interest at the end.
TITO ORTIZ IS A BORING ASS SHITBAG
And fuck off with Tito. He beat a middleweight, who was on the gas, and is probably really a welterweight if not lightweight. Why the fuck you even made that match is a mystery to everyone but Tito’s bank account/monthly child support check. And then Stephan Bonnar, in a fight that was so boring you didn’t remember it happened until I just told you and you don’t have a single recollection of it.
And, again, OK, I know. I know. You have to force title shots sometimes. Build the new guy, Liam McGeary. Entertainment over sport sometimes. UFC does it. That’s MMA. That’s life. So, fine: Tito gets the world’s most gifted and unearned title shot since … fuck if I know.
But don’t do that and tell me this is a BIG SHOW. And it’s not like you had everything fall apart on you either. You didn’t have Fedor vs Lesnar in a cage filled with bears booked, with a semi-main of naked Gina Carano vs Naked Meisha Tate. No, this was ALWAYS your main-event. You want to headline a show with this? OK. But don’t headline “Wrestlemania” with what’s a top of the hour TV match.
YOU CANNOT TURN JAPANESE
Oh, and don’t do the “!” thing. The Japanese do it because that’s Japan. Japan does weird things like add “!” points to everything they can. You didn’t do it this time but the urge is strong, I can tell. You’re doing a show with a ring and a cage in the same building, so your desire to be different is there. (It also allows an easier sell-out…) Hey, I even think the visual of kickboxing and MMA on the same show looks cool:
No idea if it’ll work. Slightly different audiences (one has an audience the other doesn’t). And I’d actually like to see kickboxing IN the cage but beggars can’t be choosers. I’m gonna beg anyways because it isn’t the kickboxing I’m looking forward to but PAUL DALEY KICKBOXING!
SACRIFICE PAUL DALEY FOR
OUR MY ENTERTAINMENT
I don’t know who the Brit is facing. I just hope whoever it is is actually good. Daley has been such a whiney bitch over the years about no one in MMA wanting to stand up and strike with him, while simultaneously never doing kickboxing, that I pray he gets his head kicked off. Just some old school shit where his mouthpiece falls out and you see his eyes roll back as he crumbles to the floor.
Hey, it happened to Don Frye when he fought Jerome LeBanner at the legendary DYNAMITE! show so you’d be honoring your predecessor that way. Do whatever it takes, fix the fight: hey, at least then you’d be closer to actually being Wrestlemania.